Why Me? Rediscovering the Transformative Power of Hospitality in Christian Life

In Christianity, I am sure you have probably heard of the idea of hospitality. I know as a newer Christian, it was described to me as a type of spiritual gift that the Holy Spirit imparts on certain people. I remember feeling so validated at my old church, having completed their online assessment of my own spiritual gifts and being told one of mine was hospitality. At the time, I thought it made me special, but now I see the gaps in that approach to diagnosing a believer with their spiritual giftedness. 

The problem isn’t with the determination of the existence of a gift in a person, it is in the prescription that only specific people have the natural capacity for hospitality. In a recent class in my studies at Moody, I had to research empathy, and learned that only an estimated 20% of the world naturally experiences empathy. I often see in class discussions that Christian leaders pigeonhole themselves into shielded teaching roles, meaning that they want to teach, but they claim they are not “people person” enough to truly shepherd. The foundation of shepherding is hospitality, and yet the budding leaders of some of America’s churches don’t understand this. This is problematic because some people believe that if you don’t have it naturally, you cannot get it. This could not be further from the truth- both empathy and hospitality can be learned!

So, what is hospitality? How is it modeled for us in Scripture? There are more examples than I am willing to list in this article, but I will name a few. We see David showing hospitality in the Old Testament, welcoming Mephibosheth to dine with him. We see Moses welcomed by a priest of Midian, and the widow of Zarephath takes care of Elijah (even though she is living in poverty herself). We see many examples of hospitality extended to Christ, and we see examples shared by the disciples throughout the expansion of the Gospel message in the synoptic gospels. We see hospitality in Acts through the concern of the church in caring for others. And notably, we see hospitality shown in Ruth’s story, with Boaz going as far as marrying her. James 2:15-17 reminds us that it isn’t good enough to pray for a person who is hungry or cold, but rather we must show hospitality and empathy to those in need.

Recently we took a long weekend away to Ellijay, Georgia, a small mountain town about 9 hours from where we live. It was the first trip that Cody and I had ever taken without his job interrupting us with some ridiculous crisis. Cody was laid off after 10 years with his company this August, and I jokingly said it was like getting a divorce from the third party in our marriage because his job was always so demanding. When we planned this trip to a cabin in the woods, I expected that we would stay close to the house, relax by the fireplace, and unwind in the hot tub (I was really looking forward to the hot tub!). The problem was, when we checked into our cabin, the host of the AirBnb notified us that the fireplaces and hot tub were all broken! I was really disappointed by this news, because it changed how we did our vacation. We ended up spending a day in town, stopping for lunch at a tiny cafe where Cody handed a Logic of God sticker to a pair of men doing a Bible study. Who knew that gesture would transform our entire vacation? 

I said, “I am going to be alone. I am going to relax. I am going to enjoy the quiet solitude of the mountains.” God had other plans. Shortly after we left the cafe, one of the men Cody gave a sticker to added us on social media. He immediately invited our family out to meet up with his, and we decided to go. It was hard not to be kind of skeptical of this, I mean, our generation grew up screaming, “Stranger Danger!”, so it was a little difficult for us to go through with it. We met up, hit it off, and ended up spending the majority of our trip spending time with this family. We didn’t sit at the cabin in solitude writing, we were in community with a local youth pastor and his incredible family. One meetup led to another (within hours of each other!), and eventually we went to his church and even his home. We kept asking each other, “What is God telling us in all of this?”

This week I am visiting with a friend that I have known for several years. We met over 5 years ago on Reddit of all places, when I was searching for information on genetics and genealogy because of my adoption. This was the first time we met, and I traveled to Arizona with a little bit of fear. I met my husband online, but “stranger danger” still echoes in my head sometimes. It’s risky meeting strangers, especially online, but I went for it, trusting that God was with me and had brought this friendship together. As I rode in the car this evening, after yet another wonderful dinner that she and her husband insisted on paying for, I kept thinking to myself, “Why me?” Why did I of all people get the opportunity to receive this undeserved hospitality? I mean, I am virtually a stranger, they aren’t my relatives, they don’t owe me anything, and yet they are treating me with so much care, kindness, generosity- and hospitality.

It got me thinking about this guest we recently invited onto the podcast, and the things he said when he ultimately decided it wasn’t for him. He asked us, “Why me?” and wanted to know why we thought his voice was special enough to give a platform to. He wanted to know why we thought he was worth hosting in an AirBnb, why we would pick him for a weekend getaway to Florida. He asked what was in it for us, and treated the offer with suspicion. I think that’s what shocked me so much about the reckless hospitality we encountered in Georgia, as well as the kind I am receiving here. We were total strangers and yet we were welcomed with so much love it was astonishing. I think to myself often, “Why me, God? Why did you send your son for me?!” and it is so hard for my heart to comprehend the kind of love it takes to offer so sacrificially and openly. We should stand in awe constantly of the love of the Father, and yet as image bearers we must also reflect that love out on the people in this world. So what does that mean for Christians today?

I am a firm believer in logic and common sense (hence the entire concept of this podcast), which means I do look at the world around me with a healthy dose of skepticism. I believe this approach helps me to think critically and analytically, which allows me to make informed decisions on actions and beliefs. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, but I do think we can confuse that analytical side with judgment and then wrongly write someone off in pride because it is not convenient for us to offer hospitality every chance we get. I have been guilty of this myself, which is why I believe God is teaching me this lesson. I don’t think I work hard enough to make other people ask, “Why me?” in terms of hospitality. There is nothing sweeter than the Father’s love, and yet we do not show that same love to one another. We are quick to judge, condemn, shun, and blame. We are quick to see and believe the worst in one another, even though we are deeply flawed ourselves. 

Showing hospitality doesn’t require us to give away everything we own, leave our spouses and wander the earth evangelizing, or even get that uncomfortable. We must learn to both offer, and receive, gifts of hospitality from others. We must make our church a place of refuge for those in need of Jesus, our homes a place of safety for those seeking (and believers too), and our hearts a place of non-transactional love and affection that matches our Heavenly Father’s. We need to leave people asking, “Why me?” because of the kindness they received from us, rather than the pain they endured at our hands. That same question that burns in our hearts as we emerge from baptism with a newness unlike any other thanks to the incredible sacrifice of Jesus must be replanted in our hearts through hospitality so that we can experience the love of God earthside while we wait for Christ to return. Why me, God? And yet, He did it! Praise God!